Identity Crisis

Rather than post the usual links without commentary, I’m going to address something that’s been going on as of late.

Right now I’m sitting here listening to British Sea Power and I feel like a fraud.

Yeah, I do. I’ve been into beauty since I was a little girl and have been an officially licensed member of the beauty industry for many years now. Did you know that in the state of California, you only need 600 hours to be able to take your test for your esthetician’s license? In some states, you need even less hours. I should have read about the 10000 hour rule while I was in beauty school.

Maybe I took off in the wrong direction in starting this site. I think that I need to practice what I preach and actually “put on a little makeup”? I’m not using makeup every day (oh, the horror).

In my mind, I think that I look like the woman in the avatar on the right. Most of the time, I used to, I think? There’s been this whole aging situation as I’m pushing 38 in June. Sometimes wonder if I do have one foot in the grave and should just throw in the towel with this beauty blog thing? If I listened to society at full volume, that might be true. However, I’ve been on the fringes of participation in societal norms.

Something happened the other day that was really a bit much for me. A blogger that I’ve been following for years asked her readers on Facebook if they wanted her to write about aging the other day. She’s under 30, puts up glamorously staged photo shoots frequently “just because”, and heavily Photoshops said pictures. I’m not knocking her or her army. Thank goodness it’s a free country, but my opinion is that it’s almost insulting that she would write about aging. Are we such a youth obsessed society that a 27 or 28 year old is considered an absolute authority on matters such as aging?

I am grateful that I am lucky enough to stay at home with babes and also go to school full-time. We are healthy and relatively happy and things could be so very different. Meanwhile, here’s are some pics from our walk the other day. Coco and I do our best to get out of the house daily, weather permitting. We walk around the lagoon and watch the fowl. There are so many ducks, seagulls, crows/ravens, and other birds and I try to document them accordingly.

Scary mommy, indeed

Coco and the swing

Hi there, friends.

So with the limited time that I do have in between Coco and studying computer science and marketing, I’ve been hanging out over at Scary Mommy on the boards there. I’ve not made any confessions yet, although I can certainly relate to some of them.

As far as beauty goes, I’ve also got the identity crisis in that I’m growing out what has become my signature look in this hair color. It’s time to see what my other options are, besides super duper high maintenance. My natural curl falls between Nicole Kidman in Days of Thunder and SJP in Square Pegs, so there’s that, too. Think super uber-frizz. I’m excited that I get to see Nicole, my stylist, on Monday and discuss the possibilities of what I can realistically do during this growing out transition.

It’s weird to be concerned and even preoccupied with these things when there are larger concerns in the world, such as Trayvon Martin, the economy, the tragic death of a small child, the palm oil and Orangutans horrors, and everything else.

One has to do the best that they can, though, and with that, I leave you with two quotes of the day:

“If you’re going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you’re going to be locked up.” – Hunter S. Thompson

“There is no salvation in becoming adapted to a world which is crazy.” – Henry Miller

Have a great weekend.

- Lisa


  1. Honestly, I don’t think you’re a fraud at all. You’re in a state of evolution. Motherhood does that. Getting older does that (and I mean the REAL getting older, not the OMG29 kind). Your signature look at 28 shouldn’t be your signature look at 38, maybe it doesn’t even need to be near it. But that evolution doesn’t happen overnight… it takes tweaking, and days with bad hair and walks in the park with ducks. That’s how you become your real self.

    There’s going to be a jump between who you are in that avatar, and when you qualify for Advanced Style. (Which you will. Me? I’m not so sure). It’s going to be uncomfortable, but it’s the becoming of yourself.

    Also, if you haven’t seen this from Amid Privilege then you should.

    • Thanks for reminding me of Advanced Style. I love that site. Thanks for saying that I could be on there. Does that mean that I’m going to be an eccentric old lady? ;)

      I agree about the signature look. I was in line in front of a woman at CVS and she was stuck in time, somewhere around 1978-1982 maybe? A day glo yellow tourist shirt that said Cozumel, Mexico with shorter shorts. Too tan and she had all of the seasons of Color Me Beautiful on at once. It was hard to tell if she was Divine’s or Tammy Faye’s sister. Not sure of her age, but I wanted to do the makeunder thing big time. She was really sweet and cool and to each their own.

      Thanks for the link to Amid Privilege. Checking it out now.

  2. You should never naysay the importance of beauty or fashion. What I always think, is that at the end of world, when everyone is fighting for survival, someone will want to look better than everyone else doing it.

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